The Real Reel: A Look Back at the Highs & Lows of 2018
2018 was quite a year. And to be honest, I can hardly believe it’s almost over. Many people like to share their highlight reel of 2018, focusing only on the highlights, the top 9’s, and the most-liked pics. However, my life is so much more than a highlight reel. There were some very low lows this year, combined with some very high highs, and it would not be fair to only focus on one side of my life.
So here is a look back over the year with things that happened, both good and bad, and the lessons I learned from them.
Lesson Learned: Big Dreams are Worth Chasing Even When Others Don’t Understand Them.
An introverted former-math teacher is invited to attend the Better Homes & Gardens Stylemaker Event. What?!?! While part of me is still convinced I was invited by mistake (lol), it was a remarkable opportunity and quite an honor. To have this iconic brand view me as someone who was influencing styles and trends is incredible. And it will forever mark a moment for me that personally validated that a small town mom with no formal design background can have something of value to offer. And it affirmed that BIG dreams are worth chasing, even if others don’t understand them. I got to meet up with so many talented influencers that day, and see their real-life personalities unfold from the behind-the-screens persona, and that was really a cool and memorable experience.
Lesson Learned: Soak in the good moments because you never know when they may be the last.
I type this with tears in my eyes, debating how much of this to share. It is not my story to tell, but it is something that has permanently and radically altered my perspective on life and the brevity of it. On May 2nd my daughter’s 5-year-old friend, Hailey, passed away unexpectedly. Hailey was a sweet spirited little girl who was kind to everyone and made everyone feel special. In mid-April we celebrated this sweet healthy girl at her 5th birthday party, and 3 weeks later we attended her funeral. These are the kinds of tragedies you read about in a news article. Not the kinds of things you expect to happen to your friends. It is awful and heartbreaking and has made me realize that not one single thing should be taken for granted. Life is a gift and you’ve got to soak in the good moments because you never know when they may be the last. There are no guarantees. So cherish every Christmas, take that family trip you’ve been putting off, tell people you love them, put your phones down and play that game with your kids. Because life can be short. I wish I could have learned this lesson a different way. I’d give anything to have not learned this lesson this year. And I do want to say that Hailey’s parents are brave warriors who have carried on honoring her memory and living their lives as best they can despite an immense amount of grief, and I have so much respect and love for them.
Lesson Learned: Say YES to big opportunities even if the timing is less-than-ideal.
I was contacted for a magazine shoot right in the midst of a massive flooring project which had our entire first floor of our home ripped apart and empty. Having a magazine send a photographer and stylist to shoot my very-normal-middle-class-lives-in-a-cul-de-sac home was a pinch me moment, and once again affirmed that the pursuit of dreams and the hard work it takes can lead somewhere! I will admit that it was a complete scramble getting the floors installed and the house put back together on time for the magazine shoot. And I’ll admit that there was more than once where I felt completely inadequate to have this opportunity come my way. But I’m so grateful I said Yes despite the timing!
Lesson Learned: Sometimes You’ve Just Got to Carpe-the-Freaking-Diem.
Do the thing you’ve been talking about rather than just talking about it. Do the thing you’ve been wanting to do but have been putting off til a “better” time. This November I booked a last-minute trip to Texas to hang out with my insta-bestie Allison, and see Magnolia Market, and step out of my comfort zone. It was hands-down a wonderful experience that was empowering and incredible in every way (except the motion sickness part on the plane – could have done without that, lol). This experience literally transformed my life and has impacted my outlook on 2019 in a huge way. I’ll share more on that soon. But I am so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone, said yes to new adventures, and took that trip!
Lesson Learned: People on instagram have real life struggles that don’t make it onto their feed.
Ready for this to get really real really quick?…This year I have been struggling emotionally with real life relationships that have left me questioning my self-worth. Certain things have left me seriously wondering if I am the type of person I think I am. As a wife, a friend, a mom…all of it. I’ve never been someone who struggled with self-esteem or relationships, so this emotional struggle has been new territory for me. I was especially wrestling with this throughout the summer and fall. And while these feelings have subsided a little, they are still there and I’m still working through this. I don’t have all the answers yet, but two things I’m trying to focus on are this: 1) Remembering that my identity is ultimately in who God has created me to be, and it’s not in how others in my life see me, or what things am I or am not invited to be part of. And 2) I get to make a choice whether I focus on those who make me feel cast aside or whether I choose to focus on finding and investing in people whose friendships bring mutual encouragement and joy. So in case you think that successful people on instagram have it all together in real life, we don’t. And if you are struggling with your self-worth, you are not alone, and hopefully the two things I shared will help you like they are (sort of) helping me.
Lesson Learned: Take time to unplug, and be with people who refuel your soul.
This summer I had the opportunity to take a 3 day girls getaway to the beach with my daughter and my mom. By day 2, I caught myself reflecting on the fact that I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I felt that relaxed and at ease. This was a great reminder for me of the importance of slowing down, stepping away from responsibility, and making time to be around people who truly put my soul at rest.
Another highlight that I definitely have to mention: The birth of my nephew!
I cannot begin to describe how much I love getting to be an aunt. I have three nieces whom I adore, and the birth of my first nephew this year was a highlight for sure!
2018 was wonderful in some ways and tough in others. But it all makes up who am I and where I am right now. The reality is we never know what each year may hold. So it is my hope that you also take a minute to acknowledge defining moments from 2018 and see what you can learn from them. And may you face 2019 with hope, courage, and gratitude for the moments that are yet to come…Happy New Year, friends!
Ah! Loved reading this! I can’t nelieve you had to see your friends daughter go. So sad! My brother passed away December 31st last year soni totally get it. Life is short and painful. Grateful for your truth! Congrats on your success!
Cynthia, Wow! What a phenomenal experience! I’m very happy for you. The loss of a little girl that is your daughters age….so tragic. We hear these terrible things way too much, it’s not fair. How do you even begin to understand the “why”?? I too struggle with being afraid if I can do this flower thing. I have a constant battle going on of yes you can and no you can’t! It’s stories like yours though that lift and inspire and all the while reminding us that we are only human. You are a beautiful, strong woman and I’m happy to know you. Happy and healthy new year to you and your wonderful family!
Thank you for your thoughtful comment here, Trish! I appreciate that. I hope you are able to find the courage to continue on pursuing your flower business! You have a gift and I hope you continue to use it. Wishing you a bright and beautiful 2019! XO, Cynthia
My dear Cynthia, thank you for sharing so much of your heart! That wasn’t an easy thing to do, but I’m thankful that you did. You touched my heart and I’m certain this will touch and encourage many others. You are one of the kindest and most genuine people I’ve met in this community. I’m honored and blessed to call you friend. So thankful for you!
Thank you for your thoughtful words here, Lisa! I’m so grateful to know you and have met you this year. You are a constant source of support and friendship and I appreciate you! XO, Cynthia
A beautiful post. Thoughtful and reflective. I’m on the older end of life, in my late 50s, a graphic designer who fuels my creativity in a variety of ways. Each year brings it’s own set of highs and lows. I was just talking about this with a friend of mine. 2018 was a great year for me… I became a grandmother for the first time. (Never thought I could love another human being as much as my own sons, but I truly do!) Traveled to Europe for the second time, and was able to pursue what I wanted to do professionally. Overall a very good year for me. Thank you for sharing.
I’m so happy to hear that 2018 was a great year for you! It sounds like you had some wonderful and memorable moments. May you enjoy a bright 2019 as well! Xo, Cynthia
What wonderful lessons of your very REAL year Cynth! Both the highs and lows make life worth living and I love that you have shared both facets of your year. Beautiful post and beautiful (though not always easy) year!
Thank you for your kind words here, Lyss! I knew I had to share from my heart about the highs and lows of the year. Wishing YOU a bright and beautiful 2019, my friend! XO, Cynthia
Thanks for sharing! It is nice to hear about the ups and downs so that we don’t get the idea that we are alone in experiencing the difficulties in life. I read a book this year called “Uninvited” by Lysa Teurkerst that was really helpful to me. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it! What you said about relationships and questioning yourself is definitely something that resonates with me and that book helped a lot! Hope you have a great 2019!
Cynthia what a beautiful blog post. I always admire and love your realness. You are the real deal! And incredibly talented and creative. So grateful our paths crossed on here and I really hope you know how special you are. For those that are making you doubt…shame on them. Happy New Year sweet friend! xo Elizabeth
Thank you for always being such an encouragement to my soul, Elizabeth! I appreciate you so much! Wishing you a bright and beautiful new year in 2019! XO, Cynthia
It is so refreshing to hear not only your ups and amazing accomplishments this year (and they are truly a-maxing, congrats!), but also behind the scenes. Real life beyond the stories. That helps ppl like myself jump over the hurdles and not crawl under them to reach goals. Thank you for sharing❤️
I had no idea you were going through all of these hard things this year. I hope you know I am always here for you and only 45 minutes away. I’ll drive to meet you any day for coffee, friend. I’m thankful that we crossed paths on IG and I’m enjoying watching you grow and bloom in your creativity and dreams. You are so right – Remember who you are in Christ first, and everything else seems to fall in line after that.
All of this is why I love you!! So So authentic. Here’s to 2019 and all the good that is going to happen and the not so good too, because without the not so good we don’t usually feel the same way about the GOOD!
This was very encouraging to me! And I’m so sorry about the passing of your daughter’s friend — truly a sad experience. Thanks for being open and sharing on this platform 🙂
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Ah! Loved reading this! I can’t nelieve you had to see your friends daughter go. So sad! My brother passed away December 31st last year soni totally get it. Life is short and painful. Grateful for your truth! Congrats on your success!
I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your brother. Life certainly is short and can be so unpredictable. Wishing you a brighter 2019! XO, Cynthia
Cynthia,
Wow! What a phenomenal experience! I’m very happy for you. The loss of a little girl that is your daughters age….so tragic. We hear these terrible things way too much, it’s not fair. How do you even begin to understand the “why”??
I too struggle with being afraid if I can do this flower thing. I have a constant battle going on of yes you can and no you can’t! It’s stories like yours though that lift and inspire and all the while reminding us that we are only human.
You are a beautiful, strong woman and I’m happy to know you. Happy and healthy new year to you and your wonderful family!
Thank you for your thoughtful comment here, Trish! I appreciate that. I hope you are able to find the courage to continue on pursuing your flower business! You have a gift and I hope you continue to use it. Wishing you a bright and beautiful 2019! XO, Cynthia
My dear Cynthia, thank you for sharing so much of your heart! That wasn’t an easy thing to do, but I’m thankful that you did. You touched my heart and I’m certain this will touch and encourage many others. You are one of the kindest and most genuine people I’ve met in this community. I’m honored and blessed to call you friend. So thankful for you!
Thank you for your thoughtful words here, Lisa! I’m so grateful to know you and have met you this year. You are a constant source of support and friendship and I appreciate you! XO, Cynthia
A beautiful post. Thoughtful and reflective. I’m on the older end of life, in my late 50s, a graphic designer who fuels my creativity in a variety of ways. Each year brings it’s own set of highs and lows. I was just talking about this with a friend of mine. 2018 was a great year for me… I became a grandmother for the first time. (Never thought I could love another human being as much as my own sons, but I truly do!) Traveled to Europe for the second time, and was able to pursue what I wanted to do professionally. Overall a very good year for me. Thank you for sharing.
I’m so happy to hear that 2018 was a great year for you! It sounds like you had some wonderful and memorable moments. May you enjoy a bright 2019 as well! Xo, Cynthia
What wonderful lessons of your very REAL year Cynth! Both the highs and lows make life worth living and I love that you have shared both facets of your year. Beautiful post and beautiful (though not always easy) year!
Thank you for your kind words here, Lyss! I knew I had to share from my heart about the highs and lows of the year. Wishing YOU a bright and beautiful 2019, my friend! XO, Cynthia
Thanks for sharing! It is nice to hear about the ups and downs so that we don’t get the idea that we are alone in experiencing the difficulties in life. I read a book this year called “Uninvited” by Lysa Teurkerst that was really helpful to me. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it! What you said about relationships and questioning yourself is definitely something that resonates with me and that book helped a lot! Hope you have a great 2019!
Thank you for that book recommendation Chelsey! I’ve heard of it but not read it. Maybe I need to add that to my list for 2019! XO, Cynthia
Cynthia what a beautiful blog post. I always admire and love your realness. You are the real deal! And incredibly talented and creative. So grateful our paths crossed on here and I really hope you know how special you are. For those that are making you doubt…shame on them. Happy New Year sweet friend! xo Elizabeth
Thank you for always being such an encouragement to my soul, Elizabeth! I appreciate you so much! Wishing you a bright and beautiful new year in 2019! XO, Cynthia
It is so refreshing to hear not only your ups and amazing accomplishments this year (and they are truly a-maxing, congrats!), but also behind the scenes. Real life beyond the stories. That helps ppl like myself jump over the hurdles and not crawl under them to reach goals. Thank you for sharing❤️
I had no idea you were going through all of these hard things this year. I hope you know I am always here for you and only 45 minutes away. I’ll drive to meet you any day for coffee, friend. I’m thankful that we crossed paths on IG and I’m enjoying watching you grow and bloom in your creativity and dreams. You are so right – Remember who you are in Christ first, and everything else seems to fall in line after that.
All of this is why I love you!! So So authentic. Here’s to 2019 and all the good that is going to happen and the not so good too, because without the not so good we don’t usually feel the same way about the GOOD!
This was very encouraging to me! And I’m so sorry about the passing of your daughter’s friend — truly a sad experience. Thanks for being open and sharing on this platform 🙂